Burning Bridges: A Story of a Lost Friendship

In the mornings, I usually wake up to a cup of coffee and quick run through of my social media sites.  It's mostly mindlessness, just trying to get my body to function before I head to work at 7:30 a.m.  However, recently I got another shot besides the one the Folgers gives me.

Scrolling through my Facebook feed I saw a picture of some old friends, posted by a mutual friend.  Me and these aforementioned friends are no longer "Facebook Affiliated" and haven't been for some time.  Something like 4 years has gone by since I talked to them last.  Why the 4 years of lack of communication?  

These friends and I once attended the same church and were in the same small group. We shared meals together on a regular basis.  Prayed together.  Laughed together.  Had early morning coffee together.  I would say that these friends were at that time our "best friends."

At this church, it was becoming more and more obvious that our time was coming to a close.  There's a lot of reasons I could reflect on, but I won't bore you with those.  However, with our decision to move on to a different faith community we needed to let these friends know that we would no longer be joining them in small groups.

One of the things I've learned this past year is that I don't know how to deal with emotions well.  In the majority of my relationships, I've have tried to avoid things like confrontation and discord.  I have buried my emotions that would cause others to become angry or unhappy with me.  I also discovered that I tend to think better by writing, and prefer to do that to actually talking to someone (ironic isn't it) about issues I'm having.  I find it easier to deal with a computer than I do with a human.  

So, not wanting to face the disappointment of my friends, I wrote them a letter.

I basically said we were struggling to find our place in our current community and felt it best to move on to a new one.  We had talked about us continuing our lives together in the small group we attended, but both Sarah and I felt it best to have a clean break and to move on.  I told them I was sorry for writing a letter instead of telling them this face to face, and I hid my emotions behind a computer screen.

It may not sound like something that would cause major disconnect, but it did.  These friends were deeply connected to us both spiritually and emotionally.  We were sharing each others lives.  And with one push of the "Send" button that all ended.  Instead of honoring our friendship by telling this couple with whom we have shared our lives for the past two years our plans face-to-face, I chose to disregard that and do it over and email.  

And a life-changing friendship ended.  

And so I see this picture of this family now and my heart broke.  I don't even know where to start to reconcile this friendship now gone for almost 4 years.  I still don't know what to do with these emotions and I'm still hiding behind my computer.  

What I've realized is that relationships on any level are often messy.  I can't say in full certainty that these people will ever be friends with us again.  I do know that God can heal all things.  And the only attitude I can change towards the situation is mine.  

Father, help me to value the friendships you've gifted me.  Help me to honor them.  Help me to deal with them.  Help me to understand them.  Father, forgive me and heal me.  

Do any of you have stories like this?  Have you lost a friendship that has since been reconciled?  Maybe like me your are still struggling to put out the fires on the bridges you've burned.  Would love to hear your stories.